The Fugue
Gabriela Mistral (Chile, 1889–1957)
Mother, in the dream
I walk through bruised landscapes:
a black mountain that bends on
toward the other mountain; and I
can barely see you on the one
that follows, but there’s always another
mountain to round, to pay the price
to the mountain of our joy.
But now and then you yourself
walk the path of games and ruin.
We go on close, continue aware,
but we can’t look into each other’s eyes,
and we can’t talk,
like Orpheus alone and Eurydice alone,
each living out a promise or penance,
with broken accent and feet.
Sometimes you’re not beside me:
you’re in me, in a weight as anguished
as it is loving, like some poor galley-
slave son to his galley-slave father,
and we’ve got to weave through the hills,
without speaking the painful secret:
that I’ve stolen you from cruel gods
and that we go to a God of our own.
And other times you’re not ahead,
or with me, or in my breath:
you’ve receded into the hills’ mist,
you’ve given in to the bruised landscape.
And out of nowhere your voice
is sarcastic with me, and I break down
because my one body is the one you gave me,
and you’re now water of a hundred eyes,
you’re a landscape of a thousands arms,
that won’t ever again be what lovers are:
living chest on living chest,
bronze knot eased in sobs.
And we’re never there, we never stay,
like they say the glorious end up,
in front of their God, in two rings
of light, or two enraptured medallions,
skewered into a ray of glory
or lying flat in a golden riverbed.
Or I look for you, and you don’t know,
or you’re with me, and I can’t see your face;
or you’re in me because of an awful pact,
but don’t answer with your deaf body,
always by those rosary hills,
that draw blood to grant joy,
and make us dance around each one,
until that moment your head’s on fire,
the rattle of old dementia,
and snaring in the red vortex!